M*A*S*H moments

Monday, June 4, 2012

Lt. Nugent (dancing with Radar): Why is everyone watching?
Radar: Oh are they? Well, I guess it's 'cause I come in here with a lot of girls you know, and they always like to see who I'm with.
Lt. Nugent: Radar, not again.
(Radar looks over at Hawkeye, who smiles.)
Radar: Well maybe it's 'cause I'm here with the prettiest girl in camp.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Radar: Um, what I wanted to ask you is, uh... Well, if you wanted to impress this girl that you're really impressed with, what would you do then?
Charles: Gee. That certainly is a challenging question. But isn't Pierce handling that particular phase of your interminable childhood?
Radar: Look, Sir, if you don't wanna help me, just say so. I just come in here 'cause I know you know a lot of fancy words and stuff. You know, like etti-quit.
Charles: Etti-quit. Yes, I see. *clears throat* Well. If there were a girl whose interest I wanted to capture, first I would find out what that interest was. Then I would proceed to dazzle her with my expertise. Suppose she had a penchant for Shakespeare. In that event, I would take her into a moonlit garden, say, the empty mine field behind the OR, and then whisper in her shell-like ear, "But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! ARISE, FAIR SUN, AND KILL THE ENVIOUS MOON!!"
Charles: That is what I would do. I have no the slightest idea what YOU will do.

Lt. Nugent: Hi Radar, how you doing?
Radar: *whistles*
Lt. Nugent: Radar?
Radar: Oh hi! Oh gee, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you. I'm just very... relaxed.
Lt. Nugent: Oh, you're supposed to be unconscious.
Radar: No, I'm not unconscious, I'm just very calm.
Lt. Nugent: Radar, are you mad at me or something?
Radar: No. No I'm not mad at you why would you think I was- oh gees now I'm getting nervous!
Lt. Nugent: Radar, maybe I should leave you alone.
Radar: Oh no! No you don't have to! I mean I'm not NERVOUS nervous, I'm just sort of a- a relaxed state of nervous...